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Dancing with Kowalskis
for elementalv
Author's Notes: Thanks to Brynwulf for the beta. The recipient said she liked RayK teaching someone to dance, so I hope this suits her kink.
I wasn't really sure how I ended up there. When Stella screamed at me to "get out, just get out" and said I was as bad as her ex, I hadn't really thought I'd end up in his apartment of all places. I assumed I had Fraser to thank for Kowalski not interrogating me about what the hell I did to get the boot. But then, maybe he knew. After all, he'd been there himself a few years earlier.
For the most part, they'd been pretty hands off since I arrived. Probably worried about freaking me out or something, but I mostly stopped freaking out about the things Fraser does back when I got used to him licking weird things. It didn't get much weirder than Kowalski, but I trusted Fraser's judgment. If he was in love, who was I to judge? After all, I was sitting on their sofa staring at the wall wondering how to get my wife back.
I got up and walked over to the kitchen and froze before I could say anything. Kowalski was stirring something on the stove with Fraser standing behind him, their bodies flush as Fraser planted little kisses along Kowalski's neck. He had his hands on Kowalski's waist and his thumb moved slowly against this tiny patch of skin just above Kowalski's jeans. Fraser muttered something soft and Kowalski laughed and suddenly I felt like an intruder. Before I could turn away though, Fraser must have sensed I was there because he looked over and when he saw me he pulled back, let go, put space between them and asked me if I needed anything.
"No," I said as I turned back to the living room. It was weird to see them so intimate with each other. I wasn't sure what I had expected, but it wasn't that. It was something gentle and sweet and calm. So fucking calm, which isn't how I thought of Kowalski at all.
Fraser came out of the kitchen with a glass of wine and handed it to me. "Dinner's almost ready. Just a few more minutes."
"Sure." I nodded and gulped down half the glass of wine.
"You want to talk about it?" He sat down beside me and I couldn't even look at him. I was afraid I'd break apart so I just shook my head and stared at the muted hockey game on the television. I've never liked hockey, but Fraser does. Kowalski too, probably -- it's fast and brutal and suits the Kowalski in my head, not the one in the kitchen, the one living with Benny, the one who knows Stella in ways I didn't ever want to think about.
"It's ready." Kowalski's voice interrupted my thoughts and Fraser and I moved from the sofa to the table. I was prepared to eat in silence or just listen to them talk about work or the Hawks or some other innocuous dinner conversation. Instead Kowalski gave me those hard eyes of his and said, "So what the fuck did you do, Vecchio?"
Before I could shoot off some angry response though, Fraser glared at him and warned, "Ray." I thought that was the end of it, but then he turned to me, his look soft as he said, "Talking about it might help, Ray."
And somehow between bites of spaghetti with meatballs that was actually quite good -- turns out that when he was being me, Kowalski got a few cooking lessons from Ma -- I spilled the story about how nothing really happened. We just started arguing more and more. Maybe we'd rushed into things. Moving to Florida and opening a bowling alley probably hadn't been the best thing for either of us, we were away from friends and family. I wanted kids and she wasn't ready and I'd said if we waited any longer it'd be too late and she'd cried and things went downhill from there. It had been little things and then one night during dinner I'd complimented her on the chicken and she'd responded by throwing her wine glass over my head at the wall behind me. Then she'd told me to get out.
They both just stared at me. Kowalski had a fork full of pasta halfway to his mouth and he just let his hand fall back down to his plate. "She threw her glass over your head?" Then he laughed. He just cracked up laughing. "She's in love with you, dimwit."
"She told me to get out," I countered.
Fraser just looked back and forth between us, seemingly unsure of what to say or do.
"Trust me. If she really wanted you gone, she would have thrown the wine in your face. Over your head? That's just Stella letting off steam."
"Letting off steam." I just ... how do you reply to a comment like that? The guy was an idiot. "And I suppose you know because you guys had such a perfect marriage."
He stopped laughing and I readied myself, but then he surprised me. Instead of getting pissed, he smiled at me and said, "Yeah. Yeah we did. For a while anyway." He looked at Fraser then at something behind me -- the wall, the window, nothing, I wasn't sure. "We were young. Too young." His voice was soft, barely above a whisper. "Too young to know what we really wanted." And then he looked at Fraser again and smiled as he reached across the table to squeeze his hand; I found myself feeling like an intruder again. But it lasted only a moment and then he was focusing on me again. He released Fraser's hand to reach for his glass of wine and said. "You just need to woo her."
"Woo her?" I asked. "Woo her? What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
"You know ... wining, dining, a nice night out." He took a sip of his wine and then said, "Oh and don't forget dancing. Have you two gone dancing?"
I didn't really know what to say to that because I was too confused trying to process the fact that he seemed serious. Ray Kowalski was offering me advice on how to get Stella back. "No," I finally mumbled, "I'm not so great with the dancing."
It was at this point that Fraser finally said something. He'd been sitting there listening to the two of us, eating his dinner and minding his own business. Then he was suddenly saying, "Ray's an excellent dancer. He could teach you some moves."
My face felt hot and I nearly choked on a piece of meatball. I expected Kowalski's reaction to be similar but instead he just shrugged and said, "Sure. Why not?"
I sort of nodded my head, not knowing what else to say or do and figured maybe it was time to change the subject. "So how're things at the Consulate, Benny?"
After dinner, I helped Fraser wash the dishes and we talked, filling each other in on things missed. His and Kowalski's trip, their return to Chicago and Fraser's decision to stay here, my decision to move to Florida. Somehow it all stayed light and easy. It was nice talking to my best friend again. I teased him a little about Kowalski, asking how he'd managed to pick someone so ... so ... so Kowalski. He just laughed and reminded me that I'd found a Kowalski of my own and despite Stella only being a Kowalski by past marriage, I didn't really have an argument for him because he was right. She was different too. Different from anyone I'd ever known. I had to admit I was as head over heels in love as Fraser seemed to be.
After I dried the last pan and Fraser pointed out the cupboard it belonged in, we returned to the living room to find Kowalski flipping through CDs on the shelf next to the stereo. He'd moved the furniture, clearing space for them. Shit. Was he serious? Dancing lessons?
"So," Kowalski said as he turned to face me and Fraser. "I thought we'd start with a basic waltz, see how your rhythm is."
"My rhythm's fine," I muttered as I tried to relax my jaw.
"I'm sure it is," he said with a roll of his eyes. He walked over to me and put his left hand on my shoulder and said, "Just for tonight, I'll be the girl." Kowalski winked at Fraser who chuckled at the comment. I wasn't quite so amused.
I stood there with his hand on my shoulder and my own arms at my sides. "Come on," he cajoled, reaching for my left hand with his right. "Put your hand on my lower back."
I shot Fraser my best help-me-now-before-I-kill-your-lover look as I tried to extricate myself from Kowalski's grasp, but Fraser just said, "Relax, Ray," and smiled at me. Like a smile was going to make me feel better. Not even Fraser's brightest grin could make up for being in Kowalski's arms.
"Okay, now this is a simple three-count dance--"
"I know how to waltz," I spit out.
"Then show me." He nodded to Benny who at some point had picked up a remote control and was now aiming it at the stereo. A very simple oom-pah-pah came on and Kowalski counted off and took a step backwards on the next one count. I just stood there.
"Come on." He gave a little pull with both hands.
"Who's leading?" I asked.
"Obviously I am," he replied. "Cause left to your own devices you sit at the table and get glasses thrown over your head."
That got me moving.
I stepped forward -- not to dance, but to ... to do I don't know what. But when I stepped forward, he slid back and then we were stepping again and doing a slow circle of the room. Kowalski was nodding at me and saying, "Good, that's good. Now look at me, not your feet." When I looked up at his face he was smiling and I wanted to punch him. Instead I let go and stepped away.
"What's wrong, Ray?" Fraser was looking at me with concern.
"I can't ... I can't look at his face. I'm not --" I broke off before I could say, "I'm not a fag." That's not what I wanted to say, it's not what I meant. I was happy for Fraser. Really. I didn't care if he danced with men. But me? I don't dance with men. I just don't.
And good old Fraser, he seemed to get what I was not saying. He tipped his head a bit and rubbed his eyebrow, thinking before responding. I grinned at him. That was my Fraser, always searching for a solution to every problem. Finally he looked at Kowalski. "Perhaps you and I could demonstrate some dances and then Ray could follow the steps on his own."
Kowalski took a deep breath and exhaled slowly then said, "Yeah, whatever." He rolled his eyes at me again and muttered something that sounded a lot like "pussy" before moving into Fraser's arms.
I sat on the couch and watched them. Fraser was a decent dancer -- he'd probably been taught the basics by his grandmother when he was a boy -- but Kowalski? He was incredible. Smooth, graceful. It surprised me. I was so used to seeing him bouncing all over the place, so tightly wound. It was weird to see him slow down and just glide. He led them both around the room with ease, his eyes never leaving Fraser's. Once again I felt like an intruder, but then the song ended and Fraser looked over at me. "You want to try beside us?"
"Sure." What could it hurt, after all? Seeing Kowalski dance made me think about what Stella was accustomed to, what she might expect, what she might want. It was easy enough to move beside them, to follow Kowalski's lead. At the end of the song, I was even willing to try again with him and it wasn't so bad. He wasn't Stella, but he did let me lead.
"Great," he said when the song ended. "Now how about a tango?"
I stepped back from him and shook my head. "I don't think so." The tango was a dance for lovers. There was just no way. "I think I'm just going to hit the sack. But you two go ahead."
The problem with that plan, however, was that I was sleeping on their sofa. So I grabbed my shower stuff and headed off to the bathroom so they could be alone. So they could tango in private if they wanted. After showering and putting on my pajamas, I padded back down the hall to the living room.
There was something slow and soft playing on the stereo and the two of them were swaying slowly, Kowalski's arms up on Fraser's shoulder's and his face buried in his neck. Fraser's hands were at Kowalski's waist and his head was resting against Kowalski's. I stood there just around the corner, watching them. Kowalski's head came up and they kissed. It was nothing obscene, nothing particularly sexual even. Just a soft press of lips that lingered for a few seconds before they pulled apart. "Ray should be back soon," Fraser said. "I'll get linens to make up the sofa for him." Before he moved away, however, Kowalski pulled him back for another kiss. This one had more heat to it, I felt my cheeks burning as I watched, but I couldn't look away.
That tenderness, that passion, that love? That was what I wanted with Stella. That was what I'd thought I had with Stella. Maybe Kowalski was right. Maybe I needed to woo her, maybe things needed to change. Maybe we needed to come back to Chicago where we'd both been happier to begin with. Maybe it wasn't too late.
I cleared my throat and stepped into the room and they reluctantly pulled apart. I was surprised, and happy for him, that Fraser wasn't embarrassed, that he didn't hide his feelings to spare mine. He moved to get linens for me. Kowalski turned off the stereo and we moved the furniture back into place. Then he slipped down the hall to the bath as Fraser returned with sheets and a blanket and pillow.
"Are you okay, Ray?" Fraser was studying me with sharp, yet soft eyes.
"Yeah, Benny. I think I am." And I meant it.
"Well then, good night. If you need anything ..." he trailed off and I knew that I wouldn't need anything that would require disturbing him and Kowalski in their bed that night. But if I did need something, Benny was there for me and that was good to be reminded of. It reassured me in a way I hadn't realized I needed.
"Night, Benny." The next day I'd get on a plane and go back to Florida. I'd make things right with Stella. I wanted her to be as happy with me as Fraser was with Kowalski. And I finally thought it was possible.
The End
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